How To Effectively Coach

It takes a very special person to be a good coach. Most people are primarily concerned with how they are playing the game, working out their job duties or developing their political position within their organization. They don’t have the interest, time or ability to coach someone else. But you are probably unique or you wouldn’t be interested in this article. Let’s assume for at least the next few minutes that you are special and very interested in how to be an effective coach to someone or a group of people.

Titles

The first thing you must realize is that you don’t need a title to be a coach. When you work at being the best you can be, other people will notice. As they see you setting a good example and achieving your goals they will have a desire to find out how you do it. It may be a small request at first, but you will notice they are looking to you with positive expectations. The basis of this request is a need on their part coupled with respect for you and your ability or knowledge in a specific field.

Surprising to some is the reality that you may have an opportunity to coach people above you in your organization. If your intention is to help people this might happen often. Each person has different strengths. When another person needs to improve in a specific area they may seek out someone above or below them.

The danger here relates to the other person being able to comfortably retain their self-respect. They have to feel safe with you when and if they expose their weakness or need. This principle applies to people above and below you within your organization and in your personal life.

Character Traits

If you have developed character traits that include empathy and trustworthiness, these same people will naturally be drawn to you and will ask you to be their coach. The emotional element that enables them to approach you is the feeling that they can trust you and you have empathy. People seem to know intuitively if your intention is to help and encourage them or if it is to cut them down to size.

Respect for the uniqueness of each individual is another prerequisite to becoming a good coach. This includes gender, color of skin, national origin and many other obvious differences. Beyond the obvious there is still more diversity that requires awareness and sensitivity.

Here are a few for you to examine or call DGR for more information:

Values
Previous conditioning & environment
Motivational factors (Fears, Incentives & Internal)
Behavioral style (Direct, Influencing, Steady & Cautious)
Areas of intelligence (Linguistic, Logical, Spatial, Musical, Kinesthetic, Interpersonal & Intrapersonal)

Coaching has to do with the desire of one individual to help another. The effort has to be primarily one of building up, not putting down. Some people build themselves up by tearing others down. A coach knows how to read people and is able to focus on their strengths and how to develop those strengths more than fixing the weaknesses.

Questions

One of the best ways to coach is to ask focused questions. The art of asking questions is a skill that requires a great deal of self-understanding and confidence. The other person will learn the most when they discover new truths and insights without being directly told what to do. Rather, the coach leads their thinking through the process of asking questions.

A good example of one of these questions comes from Terry Paulson. Imagine yourself walking outside during lunch hour with your manager and it’s a long way back to the office when they pop this one on you. “So, what’s working for you?” Then they listen and wait for your response. Hopefully, you know they actually expect an answer and they truly care about you and how you are progressing.

Questions will enable you to observe and understand the person you are coaching. You are looking for information but also much more. Learn to study the nuances of behavior. What are their emotions, personal agendas, and goals? Where do they have blind spots?

Feedback

Feedback is the breakfast of champions. It takes a secure person to ask for help and to submit to being coached. When someone pays you the ultimate compliment of asking for you to influence who they are becoming, handle them gently. Strive to catch them doing things well. Give feedback often. Correct in private and praise in public. Make it fun.

Charts are a great way to monitor progress. When you use a chart that is posted in a conspicuous place it acts as a motivator. It will show you where you have been, where you are right now and where you are going. Benchmark the chart with three reference lines. First chart expected results. Then add a different line to indicate heroic effort and a red line to indicate the absolutely unacceptable level of performance.

During the process of coaching it’s a good idea to ask the person being coached how you are doing as a coach and if they are having their expectations fulfilled. By doing this you will be able to adjust your own behavior and maximize the positive results for both of you.

What a concept: Coach the coach. It’s a good thing.

Benefits

There are many benefits to be gained by you when you coach someone. The Biggest benefit is that you will become a better person in the process of becoming a good coach. It will encourage you to set the example, to be a good role model. It will greatly improve you communication skills. It will enhance your positive attitude. Best of all, it will build your self-esteem.

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” -Emerson

Author Information
David Rohlander
David Rohlander is an international speaker, consultant and author. David works with leaders and management teams to enhance communication and produce increased bottom line results. David established DGR Communications in 1979 to train leaders to communicate. Nearly a decade with Merrill Lynch, personally developing commercial and residential real estate, owning a travel business and being a former combat fighter pilot gives David a unique perspective. For more information about David’s presentations, contact the FrogPond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@FrogPond.com

Copyright (Reprint Terms)
Copyright 2002, David Rohlander. All right reserved. For information contact FrogPond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@FrogPond.com.